Red Sneaker - Blog of Brian Matthews

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Drain Sharks!

Tuesday, July 31, 2007 |

Gather around children. It's time to hear about one of the strangest creatures in all the porcelain land.
Back in the times of the dinosaurs, evolution for one species made a fork in the road. That animal was the shark. One branch went off to swim the oceans and flourish. The other drifted into obscurity. This little-know creature is the Drain Shark. The Drain Shark evolved to live in small bodies of water typically used as potable water sources. The Drain Shark stayed small and lived off of whatever it found. Small insects, tiny fish, and human hair. It was the late 1930s when the first Drain Sharks found their way into the homes of Americans. Since then, they stay in those pipes raising families. Anything that goes down the drain feed the drain sharks. Occasionally the drain sharks venture out of the drain but only for their favorite meal- human hair. That is why it's important to clean out the drain after every shower or bath. We wouldn't want the Drain Sharks to come up and get you? Now it's time for bed. Go kiss Mom.

Brian "Drain Sharkologist" Matthews

Whack a Blogger Continued

Monday, July 30, 2007 |

If you read my posting about my little drill accident, you know it wasn't pretty. Let me tell you a little more detail.
My wife actually covered my hand and neck when our little girls came in the room. I saw later and I agree. I looked like a mini vampire had attacked me and ended up being flung against the far wall. I had streaks of plasma all down my face, down my neck and covering the front of my shirt. Oddly enough, I didn't feel maimed.
The funniest part was that when my beautiful wife came into the room and saw me, I reassured her by saying, "It's only a flesh wound." I find Monty Python quotes very comforting.

Brian "Go Figure" Matthews

Welcome to the New Red Sneaker!

Thursday, July 26, 2007 |

Everyone wants a do-over. This is mine. Red Sneaker has been up and running for the better part of 10 years. That's a decade. During that time, my family has grown, I've changed jobs twice, and I've worn out 10 pairs of sneakers. As you can imagine, 10 years of blog posts is a lot of data. The more data there is, the slower the site performs and the slower it is to update. Not to mention all the bad code I've written over the years. So this is my clean slate. An empty canvas. My blank BetaMax tape with which I plan on recording all manner of idiocy.

I had a friend tell me recently that she thought of this blog as the "Dark Red Sneaker" in comparison with my other blog for the Bismarck Tribune. This was a fairly astute observation. This is the place I put items that aren't fit for the traditional Tribune audience.
I have added some new items to the blog and I will be adding others. Some more obvious than others
All images on the site are hand drawn and a little rough. That's the idea.
I hope you enjoy the new blog. Now, please excuse me. I have to go dye my knuckle hair blue. I'm a rebel.

Brian "Management" Matthews

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