Red Sneaker - Blog of Brian Matthews

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For New Readers--the Red Sneaker Primer

Friday, February 29, 2008 |

So, you?ve decided to read the Red Sneaker Blog. Here?s a few things you need to know first.
1. The original blog (http://blog.redsneaker.net) was started April 9th 2003 on a whim, and everything after that has been a whim as well.
2. I have no purpose for the blog besides amuse myself. Based on the number of entries and years committed, I must get bored easily.
3. I live in Mandan, ND. I am not a professional writer, comedian, jeweler, or rubber suit model.
4. One of my favorite stories I wrote on the blog was about how I accidentally dropped the cap to my aftershave into the toilet and then how I retrieved it.
5. I?m fairly certain there is something wrong with me.
6. Did I mention I wear red sneakers?
7. I have put out three books to date. To those of you who have bought the books, I am fairly certain there is something wrong with you as well.
8. I have a very understanding wife.
9. I am the father to three rather quirky children. Nothing that a little Benedryll won?t fix.
10. I am a photo geek. If my high school had had an AV club, not only would I be the president, but I would have arranged for the former president to have had some ?accidents? with the slide projector to insure my quick succession to the throne.

There, you now know everything you need to know to properly enjoy the blog. Go forth and absorb the written word?..and clean up after yourself when you are done.

Am I Sick?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008 |

I?m sitting on our couch freezing to death, not because the natural gas line into the entire city sprung a leak on Sunday---no no no. This time, I had the chills. It was as if all the heat in my body had been replaced with something cold?..like turkey breasts right our of the freezer, only these turkey breasts had hair. There I lay, shivering watching a show about how barrels are made (I have a mild interest in coopers). I?m thinking to myself, ?Am I getting sick? Or maybe I?m just really cold? The Barrel show continues and they are drilling a hole in it for the liquids to be poured into. The host indicates that this is technically the ?Bung hole? and that to make the hole, they use a ?Bunger?. The host then indicated that to get a good seal when plugging the bung hold, they have to wax the bung hole. I instantly began laughing hysterically. It was at that moment I knew I wasn?t sick, I was just cold.
Brian ?BRRR? Matthews

Russell back from Iraq

Tuesday, February 19, 2008 |

Russell is home from Iraq for another week and since then, he?s shown the family some videos. One of his jobs is to drive from north of Bagdad to other bases, so many of his videos were taken on the road. Garbage everywhere, cars abandoned by the roads periodically. Plus we got to see what a ?Rhino? is?basically a sparkplug and coil that generates heat to fool any heat sensing IEDs. We got to see people by the side of the road selling gasoline. Russ said that since there are no gas stations, people traveling buy gas from those people.
It was a very intimate look at what he does everyday from his quarters to the bunks they sleep in while on the road. It really makes me appreciate being here.

Brian ?Rhino? Matthews

FLASH!

Friday, February 15, 2008 |

My brother-in-law, Russell is home from Iraq on leave. Along with him, came his dirty laundry and a laptop that has seen it?s better days. As my own little way of supporting the troops, I am fixing his laptop. I went through several virus checks, rootkit checks and ad-ware removals. Finally last night, we were at a point where I could install his new Zune. I get the software running and the Zune is updating with all the music on hid laptop. I set the laptop aside while the music player is loaded. A few minutes go by, long enough to kick off his screen saver. Pictures of his Army buddies, big camouflaged vehicles flash across the screen. My mother-in-law was enjoying the slide show until a very different photo appeared. Let?s just say there was less camo trucks and more pink skivvies. It was his girlfriend who will be over tonight.
I hope that I can restrain myself enough to not say anything awkward??and I hope she doesn?t read this blog. This is the very reason why I insist that all photos of me in my skivvies are to be kept off screensavers no matter how good I look---belly hair and all.
Brian ?I?m Bringing Bally Hair Back? Matthews

Honesty and Over-Priced Movies

Wednesday, February 6, 2008 |

My beautiful wife took our daughters to the Hannah Montana movie this weekend. I should call it an ?Event? because it was $18 per person admission?.even for a matin�e. My wife found out about the excessive prices at the ticket window. There?s no turning back once you have the children in the theater, I guess. So, as a compromise, my wife thought she just wouldn?t buy them any candy. Well, she ended up getting them candy, but told them in jest that ?We just won?t tell Daddy.? The girls took her seriously because after they got home and my wife told me about the prices and the candy, Annabelle came up to me. She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and said, ?We had fun at the movie and we didn?t have candy.? I smiled back and told her that I had a nice relaxing time at home and that I definitely didn?t eat the very last ice cream bar either.
Brian ?Honest? Matthews

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