Red Sneaker - Blog of Brian Matthews

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Brief Announcement

Monday, March 31, 2008 |

There is going to be some pretty radical changes coming to this blog in the very near future. The most notably will be the elimination of the ?Red Sneaker? name and all shoe references. This decision is based on a cease and desist e-mail I just received and since I don?t actually make any money from this blog, I am not really willing to retain legal help to fight it. Instead, I will simply change the name and continue to post the same type of content you would expect to find on this blog.
I apologize for any inconvenience and thank you for your support and loyal readership for the last 5 years.
Sincerely,
Brian Matthews

Dear Mr. Matthews
It has come to the attention of the Nike Inc. (owners of the Converse and All-Star Brand) that you have made an unauthorized use of copyrighted icons, i.e. the red Chuck Taylor classic high top. Nike Inc. has reserved all rights of the image of the Chuck Taylor shoe, first release in 1923, [and have registered copyright therein]. Your work, blog.redsneaker.net and web site blog on the Bismarck Tribune is essentially identical to the Converse shoe design and clearly used the Converse Chuck Taylor as its basis.
As you neither asked for nor received permission to use the icon as the basis for blog.redsneaker.net and the web site blog on the Bismarck Tribune] nor to make or distribute copies, including electronic copies, of same, I believe you have willfully infringed my rights under 17 U.S.C. Section 101 et seq. and could be liable for statutory damages as high as $150,000 as set forth in Section 504(c)(2) therein.
I demand that you immediately cease the use and distribution of all infringing works derived from the Converse Chuck Taylor All-Star sneaker, and all copies, including electronic copies, of same and that you desist from this or any other infringement of Nike Incorporated?s rights in the future. If I have not received an affirmative response from you by April 9, 2008 indicating that you have fully complied with these requirements, I shall take further action against you.
Very truly yours,
Michael Hackney

Coming Soon!!!!!

Friday, March 28, 2008 |

Eureka!!!! Pass the soap!

In the shower, I began reflecting on life. This is where I typically do all my deep thinking. In the shower or in the car during a car wash. I came up with a revolutionary technology in the car wash a few years ago. You now know that product by another name, but I won?t mention it since they obviously read my thoughts and stole my idea!!!
Where was I again?
Oh yes, in the shower contemplating my navel, when I had the thought?they have 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner. Would there be a market for a 1-in-4 shampoo and conditioner?
The kit would come with 4 bottles; each bottle would contain a different chemical. When mixed together in the right proportions, you will get the best looking hair possible. Mix these chemicals incorrectly and it changes the color of your hair, or even better, becomes a depilatory.
That could be interesting!
Brian ?Inventor of the Craptop? Matthews

Divorce?

Wednesday, March 19, 2008 |

This past weekend, we had the task of going through a divorce. Not myself and my beautiful, intelligent, and funny wife, but our daughters.
Up until now, they have shared a room. Last week, the older of the two came to my wife and requested her own room because Annabelle (the youngest) is a loud sleeper?she gets that from her daddy. I?ve been know to talk, sing, and snore louder than a Motorhead concert. Annabelle is just being true to her genetics.
Anyway, so the divorce began. Rooms were selected and the division of property began. ?Is this your Polly Pocket mini fun hut or is it hers?? One item after another the divorce was growing. At the end of the day, the beds were moved and many toys were divided. We tucked in Annabelle and then tucked in Sabrina. Two minutes later, they were both out of bed because they missed all of those annoying things that the other person did. The talking, the loud noises, even the annoying noisemaker they claimed to hate.
This week, I hope to draft a visitation agreement for the huge plush dog.

Brian ?Attorney for the Room Swap? Matthews

Friendship

Thursday, March 13, 2008 |

Who Dares Disturb My Slumber

Sunday, March 9, 2008 |

Today, friends of ours asked us to join them hiking in the Badlands. How could we say no?
We got there, and who do we run across?
I think we woke him up.

Tips on Blogging

Friday, March 7, 2008 |

So you want to write a blog??
In my time as a blogger (58 in blog years), I?ve run across every obstacle possible. Therefore I bring to you my vast knowledge and understanding so you may begin your blog about your radish garden or perhaps your desire for more pudding.
1. A purpose is not needed for a blog. Yes, some people would argue this point, but in my time (35 dog years) in blogging, a real purpose is not a requirement.
2. Writer?s block happens, but this should not affect your ability to blog. Simply type in a string of random words and hit ?Post? and you have negated the devil that is writer?s block.
3. Pictures are good. People seem to like pictures, plus you don?t have to write pictures. Big plus for you!!!
4. Make outrageous statements like ?I found a new way to exorcise a demonic wood tick? or ?I invented bellybutton lint?. This will illicit numerous comments.
5. Don?t be afraid to divulge a little information about yourself. Such as ?I haven?t showered since Thanksgiving? or ?I?m scared of the mailman.? This makes you real to your readers. They may be afraid of package carriers as well.
6. Come up with a catchy nickname. ?Freckled-n?hairy?, ?Moosemeat?, or even ?JumpNut?. This will make you memorable when the readers get bored later and decide to come back.
7. Don?t be boring. Forget about detailing your trip to the supermarket if the highlight is ?Got Tuna.?
8. Don?t blog while on a treadmill, elliptical, or stepper machine. Your blog entries will look horrible and no one wants a sweaty blog post.
9. Write about elephants often. There?s something mystical and legendary about these super beasts. People find them interesting and this is a fact that the mainstream media has long denied.
10. Post often. Face it?you are not a professional author, so what you lack in quality you need to make up with in quantity. At first, post twice a day. Try to link the posting with some other event that happens to you on a daily basis. For instance, I post after I clean up cat puke. Boom! Instant muse.

Brian ?Blogtastic? Matthews

Spring Ahead

Monday, March 3, 2008 |

Coming soon is the ?Spring Ahead? time change and with that a little less sleep.
Here?s the Top Ten ways you can tell you haven?t had enough sleep.
10. You suddenly find yourself with coffee poured over your Cheerios and a mug of milk.
9. You wish people would stop calling you because everyone knows that the bananas are listening to our conversations?..man.
8. You find yourself in a heated argument with the cat because his snoring is keeping you awake.
7. You finally experience time travel from when you lay down until the alarm goes off seems to only take 5 minutes.
6. You find a Higrummel in your Jebnoodle?..and it makes perfect sense.
5. Your car is now equipped with a soft blanket so you can catch a quick nap at the stop lights.
4. Why is everyone breathing so loudly?!?
3. You wake up and find yourself at work being resuscitated by an EMT.
2. While car shopping, you become frustrated because you are looking for an eco-friendly car and none of the dealers has an SUV that will biodegrade into puppies.
1. You keep hearing a random beep at night

Brian ?Dodge Durango Terrier, please? Matthews

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