Red Sneaker - Blog of Brian Matthews

______________

brainwashingmachinegun
Add Yourself to my Map

Visit bismanphoto
Check out BisMan Photo

-Chat with me-

-Archives-
______________

-Counter-

-Ads-
______________
Click these to help support the blog!

Selling Stuff Cheap!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008 |

The weather is warming up. People are spring cleaning which means one thing---rummage sale season is here.
Garage sale, yard sale, tag sale....whatever you wish to call it. It's the rebirth for old things.
Grandma's wooden spoon will be reborn as a little boy's sandbox shovel. That nice sweater hanger thing will be repurposed into a treadmill.
Life springs eternal.

Brian "Twenty-five cents will buy you anything!" Matthews

Follow me at http://www.twitter.com/redsneaker

Follow the Travels of the little Red Sneaker here: Flickr Photos

Band names

Monday, May 19, 2008 |

Band names I would buy the CD of just to have the CD on the shelf:

Humpelstiltskin
Angry Toe
The Papa Smurf Jazz Quartet
Cat Flute
FudgeKnuckle

Brian "Hello Cleveland! We are FudgeKnuckle!" Matthews

Follow me at http://www.twitter.com/redsneaker

Follow the Travels of the little Red Sneaker here: Flickr Photos

Check out my other blog http://blog.redsneaker.net

Tick tick tick

I don't like bugs. So far, our family has found 5 ticks. We live in the middle of Mandan and we've had 5 ticks.
Just writing this is making every little tingle feel like I have ticks all over my body.
I can't but help scratching and checking periodically for the little buggers.
If this is how the summer is going to go, I'm investing in flea and tick collars for the entire family. We can wear them as bracelets.
Start a new fashion! Flea and Tick Bangles!

Brian "Smother in Peanut butter" Matthews

Follow me at http://www.twitter.com/redsneaker

Find me! Find Me!!!!!

Friday, May 16, 2008 |

I keep pretty close tabs on this blogs visitors especially on how they arrive at the site. This helps me understand how randomly they stumbled upon me.
For instance, there are quite a few searches for "Sneaker blog". The surprising one I just saw was someone searching for "Effective ways to discipline a teenager" and this blog comes up.
How disappointing.
Did I mention that my single largest search terms are "Madam the puppet" of the Madan and Waylan fame.
The internet is a weird weird place.
Brian "Puppet Pusher" Matthews

Follow me at http://www.twitter.com/redsneaker

Lu Ann is Coming to Town!

Thursday, May 15, 2008 |

My good friend LuAnn is coming back to North Dakota in the next few weeks and I hope I get to see her.
LuAnn and I met in college and we both have a fondness for tattoos and saying things no one else wants to say.
Lu officially has more tattoos than I do, so I must concede that I am very jealous.
So Lu, I'm coming up with some phrases guaranteed to make anyone overhearing a little uncomfortable:

"Ever since getting out of the witness relocation program, I feel the need to wear plaid. Is that normal?"
"Did you hear that Hulk Hogan is getting hair implants so he can star in "Rocky III--The Musical""
"It's not that I'm against granola, it's just that I think that oatmeal mocks me."

Brian "Awkward" Matthews

Follow me at http://www.twitter.com/redsneaker

Limericks gone bad

Wednesday, May 14, 2008 |

There once was a man who loved malls
He went there to roam the halls
He went to the john
and there he stepped on
Something that looked like wet paper towels covering a dropped Charleston Chew candy bar.

Brian "Whuh?" Matthews

Telemarketer

Friday, May 2, 2008 |

The phone rings.

?Hello, my name is Cynthia and I am calling to ask you about the magazines you are receiving.?
I politely respond, ?No thank you. Please take me off your calling list.?
Cynthia: ?Sir, this will take just 5 minutes of your time.?
Me: ?No thank you.?
Cynthia:?But sir, this is valuable information to help you get more blah blha blha blah blah blah blah.?
Me: ?No thank you.?
Cynthia: ?You don?t understand sir, you have to answer these questions about your magazines?blah blah blha blah blah?
Me: ?No thank you?
Cynthia continues to blurt out more and more aggressive tone trying to convince me that I will spend any more time on her.

*click* I hung up.

Less than a minute later?she calls back. I didn?t answer.
I think I was trying to hard to be polite. I guess I have to learn to answer the phone, ?I?m in a terrible mood. Talk at your own risk. ? and then promptly hang up.

Brian "Dial Tone" Matthews

Link to This Site