Is there nothing truly original any more? Are we all sentenced to repeat the same basic concepts over and over? How about an aardvark who gains super powers after being abducted by the Dutch? Maybe he or she could battle evil breakfast foods that have been thrown out by Denny's cooks. The aardvark's sidekick could be a beligerant deviled egg with a strong mexican accent- El Juevo.
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Life Lesson #47
Monday, September 29, 2008 |
Life Lesson #47 Never call a man “Francis” unless his name is Francis and you have written permission from Francis to call him that. The exception would be if you could, in fact, “Take him”.
I’ve been out of high school for a couple years. OK, a few years. What? OK, I barely remember what High School was, but my point is that many people give graduation speeches (including myself—I’m wide open for 2009 commencements—CHEAP!) Very few people give advice to seniors at the beginning of their senior year. This is where The Red Sneaker once again fills the void left by common sense. Dear Seniors. This is your last year of high school (for most of you any way), so you should approach it with dignity, great expectations, vigor, and your dreams. What you will hear at your graduation speeches this spring is to follow your hearts and do anything you want. That is a feel-good lie that is bound to set you up for disaster. Yes, you can follow your dreams and become any profession you wish, but don’t expect all the professions to pay well, provide health insurance, or just keep you out of the penal system. That’s right, enjoy life, but always know that new cars and nice houses aren’t just given out to “Cool lookin’ dudes” just because they are cool. You have to work for it. When I say “Work”, I don’t mean just cleaning up at your uncle’s garage after school or bagging groceries at the grocery store 3 blocks from your house. No. I mean, work that fills all your time, demands 100% focus, and requires that you help other people who are so stressed, you can hear them crackling in their cubicles. You will have to accept entry-level jobs with entry-level pay. Your apartment will be small and probably smell like an ashtray. The key is to expect these set backs and prepare for them. So instead of expecting to be “hooking up” with all these new ladies or gentlemen, expect to spend time meeting people with similar interests and dreams. Instead of spending your time surfing Facebook at the library, spend that time studying whatever it is that you love and dream about. Instead of partying and partaking of adult beverages every night, spend that money to further get you towards that dream. Oh, and if you know what the dream is—pay attention in your last year of high school. Maybe even ask the teacher that might know something about the topic of your dream for their advice and guidance. Now you are probably thinking---“Well that’s no fun”. Well those speeches you will hear this spring won’t mention much about “Fun”. That’s expected. 18 year olds just naturally have fun. Now go dream and start working toward that dream.
My wife and I wake up the other day and she turns to me—“I had the weirdest dream—I dreamt I had an affair---with Barack Obama.” This never would have happened with Ralph Nader.
Top 10 reasons it great to be a geek. 10. With the money you save on tech support every year, you can afford to go to Comic-Con. 9. You avoid the tragic faux pas of calling a Trekkie, “One of those Star Wars fans” and then having the snot beaten out of you by a Klingon who lives in his mom’s basement. 8. You don’t need to spend time paying attention to those pesky girls. You have an iPhone. 7. When people try to embarrass you by pulling out old photographs from when you were younger, you will look exactly the same…only smarter. 6. You really get your money’s worth from your World of Warcraft monthly subscription. 5. When you sell your comic books, you will be able to retire at the age of 40 so you can spend all your time finding the really rare comic books. 4. You can look at libraries and say, “Yeah, I read that.” 3. You can “Go Green” by building your own small nuclear power generator in your garage. 2. Steve Jobs big announcements are like getting extra holidays during the year. 1. When people say, “Wow, isn’t it great how small computer’s have gotten?” You can say, “You’re welcome”.
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