Thursday, April 30, 2009
Lobbying for Cowbell hour on URL Radio (http://www.urlradio.net).
I need more COWBELL!
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I need more COWBELL!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Looks like my beautiful wife and I will be seeing "Rock of Ages" the Musical while in NYC. The bad news is you can't rat bald.
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Thursday, April 23, 2009
HAPPY 8th BIRTHDAY Red Sneaker!
Today, 8 years ago, I sat in front of my computer and started Red Sneaker as a blog. Sure there have been ups and downs during that 8 years, but the blog has stayed pretty strong. Just this last year, I took the blog back to one of the original layouts. It is probably the layout that’s been active the longest during those 8 years.
Sure, lots of things have changed. Blogging has risen and somewhat fallen on popularity, the advent of Twitter and social networks like Facebook, Bebo, etc.
I do use those services to, but I always come back to the blog.
Hopefully Red Sneaker will be around for another 8 years. I will have to buy new sneakers during that time, but there is a very high likelihood that their color will always be the same.
Happy Birthday Red Sneaker.
Brian "I Have Another 8 year old!” Matthews
Follow me at http://www.twitter.com/redsneaker
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Monday, April 20, 2009
Do you want to see a grown man take cat anti-depressants?
Boys and Girls. It is imperative that you go to http://www.URLRadio.net right now and click on “Listen”. I don’t have any affiliation with the online radio station, but there could be a free T-shirt in it for me!!! I’m afraid that if I don’t get a free T-shirt, I might have to start skimming off my cat’s anti-depressants to keep my mental boat afloat! Go. Now! Hurry up. I’ll wait!
I’ll even post a photo of the T-shirt and maybe a video of me picking up the T-shirt…..
There won’t be any video of me taking the cat’s anti-depressants….unless that would get me the free t-shirt. Hmmm.
Thanks!
Brian "T-Shirt-less” Matthews
URL RADIO— GO THERE NOW
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Last Will and Testament
This weekend, my beautiful wife and I did the first steps in preparing our Wills. There was much serious talk. Afterwards, I ended up with an organ donation sheet, a Living Will, and directions on how to memorialize me when I’m gone.
As of now, it involves some gun powder, a cannon, and the song “Blowin’ in the Wind”. I’m sure I’ll come up with some better ideas in time, but as of right now…that’s it!
Brian "Blaze of Glory” Matthews
Follow me at http://www.twitter.com/redsneaker
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Thursday, April 16, 2009
Lies Lies Lies!
As I was recently informed, if you are going to lie, it will be far more believable if you add obscure details to the lie.
So in other words, instead of “The Dog ate my home work” which no self-respecting teacher will believe, you should say something like “I accidentally left my homework at the hospital in my grandmother’s bed. We were there because she is undergoing treatment for Feline Leukemia. I was trying to do my homework there, but the tears in my eyes prevented me from seeing properly. It wasn’t until after we left that I realized I had left my homework there.”
Here’s a few more you might try the next time you are in a predicament.
Badly worded lie “I’ll be working late”.
Goodly worded lie (yeah, I said Goodly). “I should be home on time as long as the Beckley Report is done. I’ve been riding this group of interns all week to get their portion completed. It’s like herding turtles!”
Badly: “Those jeans do not make your butt look fat”
Goodly: “Those are jeans? Really? They look like high-fashion slacks. The sort of thing I’d see on Oprah or one of those beautiful women you see on TV, but I never notice because I love you more than my own teeth.”
Brian "I don’t know how fast I was going. My prayer cards were obstructing my view” Matthews
Follow me at http://www.twitter.com/redsneaker
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Tuesday, April 7, 2009
How we went in to buy a fish and wound up with a puppy.
It all started months ago when Sabrina came home with a “Free” goldfish in a baggie. Of course, we went to the pet store and purchased a fish tank, pump, and a ceramic turtle. The fish died within days and the fish tank went into the basement until this weekend. Out of the blue, Sabrina and Annabelle began asking for a fish. So we brought the tank back upstairs and decided to buy a Betta, a.k.a. the fish you buy in a tumbler at the store and is so tough, I’m pretty sure could live in straight tap water in a coffee maker.
I did the math and figured that a new Betta should cost me less than $10 which included food and the fish. So we headed to the pet store. We went in and made a straight line for the fish section. We wandered and perused until another family was in by the puppies checking out a very playful pup. The pup ran around the store and ended up sniffing us. That pup went back and played with the other family and meanwhile my wife and daughters spot a little lhasa apso puppy yearning for attention. It was at this time I realized it was too late to just try to forget about the puppy and focus on the fish, but I tried to anyway. We left and headed to another pet store. Even though we were still looking for a fish, they could only talk about the cute little puppy. It was the same way they talk about little babies we see. All wide-eyed and high-pitched.
We arrived at the next pet store and found a nice Betta, purchased some food and made our way home. The trip home was filled with discussion on naming the new fish. I was trying to convince them to go with “Sanchez of the Reef”, but they decided on “Dorey Swimmey Blackey” because they love “Finding Nemo”, the fish swims and it’s black. Logical enough. To contrast this, Mark once had a goldfish named “Silver Power Ranger Fish”. It was gold.
We arrive home, get Dorey into his new tank and dote over the fish for about 30 seconds before someone brings up the puppy again.
We spend the afternoon quietly while my beautiful wife reads dog books and surfs the internet looking for available puppies. It wasn’t long before she found one. I called to ask some questions like “Does this puppy sleep a lot?” and “Is this one of those ‘no poo’ puppies I’ve heard rumors about”. Sadly, it is a ‘poo puppy’. After some heavy lobbying by my darling daughters and my adorable wife, I couldn’t say “No” any longer. The puppy was ours, but the puppy lives in Fargo. I have to go get the puppy. So I will drive to Fargo to retrieve the little Shih Tzu.
Once we actually secured the puppy, we had to go to the pet store and buy toys and food and a big enough tank to keep the puppy in.
On the ride home from the pet store, puppy names were thrown around. In order to prevent the poor dog from being named “Brown Puppy” or “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Dog”, Jen and I reserved the ability to veto names.
“Princess” “Angel” and “Cuddles” were all mentioned. We had to veto “Smarticles”. Finally we had a stand out name. Perfect for a puppy that we would welcome into our home on Easter Weekend— “Lily”. So Lily, a 9 week old Shih Tzu, will be making our former breakfast nook home. Adorned with numerous welcome signs from the girls and her very own pink bed. This dog better be ready for some serious girl attention because ready or not, it’s coming.
Brian "I’ll be hanging out with the fish” Matthews
Follow me at http://www.twitter.com/redsneaker
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